New News Gets Old Real Quick By Brian Polk Art by Jason White Published Issue 108, December 2022 “Happy To See Me” Is Kind Of A Weird Euphemism For “Boner” “Is that a candy bar in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” A popular joke from childhood, this phrase was indeed […]
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New News Gets Old Real Quick By Brian Polk Published Issue 107, November 2022 Do You Think O’Doul’s Will Ever Release A Cocaine-free Powder? I think it would be a delightful addition to its line of alcohol-free beer. And while they’re at it, they could probably make speed-free meth, CBD (which is basically THC-free pot),
Life Just Keeps On Going, Doesn’t It? (Observations, Mishaps and You-knows) By Brian Polk Art by Molly Wirtz Published Issue 106, October 2022 The First Couple Of Times I Saw “Quiet Quitting,” I Thought It Was “Quiet Quilting” And I concluded it was a nice little trend. What could be more quaint than a bunch
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This Mudane Life: Adventures In Whatever This Is By Brian Polk Art by Julianna Beckert Published Issue 105, September 2022 I Was Thinking Of It As A Vasecto-me When Really It’s A Vasecto-us Darling, I must confess that I am guilty of some very short-sighted, self-centered thinking. You see, when you first mentioned I should
Salacious Details, Blather, and Other Mundane Chatter By Brian Polk Art by Eric Joyner Published Issue 104, August 2022 I Have One Major Regret About The Wish I Made To Go Back In Time The genie that granted me the wish was probably aware of my folly when I told him I would like to
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The New News And Maybe Some Old News Too By Brian Polk Art by Jason White Published Issue 103, July 2022 A Threat To My Insomnia In No Uncertain Terms Dear Insomnia, I am driving 22 hours across the country today. In the past, you’ve done nothing but hinder my ability to function as a
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Accusations, Recriminations, Lamentations, Imputations By Brian Polk Art by Jason White Once A Year For My Birthday, I Allow Myself 14 Minutes Of Uninterrupted Happiness It’s a gift that I very much look forward to receiving, though last year I only gave myself 13 minutes because it started to fucking rain. Do What You Love
Rumors, Idle Talk & Fireside Chats By Brian Polk Art by Jason White But What If I Find Myself Momentarily Uncomfortable? As I continue to ungracefully age, I find myself asking this question every time I leave the house. Every time. What if it gets cold? I think. What if it gets too hot? I
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Some Things To Think About By Brian Polk Art by Jason White Published Issue 100, April 2022 The Person I Was Telling A Story To Walked Away Mid-sentence, So I Will Finish Telling The Story To The Guy Who Happened To Be Standing Nearby I was trying to recount a funny anecdote that happened last
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Idle Chatter, Ins And Outs, And Various Other What-have-yous By Brian Polk Art by Jason White Published Issue 099, March 2022 I’m Not Even Very Mindful About My Lack Of Mindfulness. I’m so shitty at being mindful that it doesn’t even bother me that I’m not mindful. In fact, I hardly ever think of it.