Midlife In The City …
By Daniel Landes
Art by Nick Flook aka Flooko
Published Issue 141, September 2025
When the storm rolled in, I was unprepared for its severity. Consumed as I am with the immediacy of my reality, I missed the warnings. Had I visited a rooftop I would have seen the clouds forming way out on the Eastern Plains. Rolling grey clouds, illuminated by intermittent flashes of lightning, dragging the earth with wispy tendrils of rain. From the rooftop I would have seen where the city ends and the vastness of the eastern horizon flattens out. Looking west to see the immediate presence of Mount Blue Sky bumping base with the foothills outside of Denver. Mount Blue Sky was previously named after former Colorado governor John Evans who proved himself to be a murderous bastard when his declarations to “kill and destroy” hostile Indians lead to much death; including women, children and the elderly at the Sand Creek Massacre. Mountains, unlike monuments to Confederate soldiers, can’t be torn down, but you sure as fuck can rename them.
Had I not stopped paying attention to the news (my mental real estate is not available for just any developer to bulldoze), I could have heard the weather forecast predicting the intensity of the storm that was coming. Instead I’m down here on street level getting soaked to the bone looking at old photos on my phone wondering why me? My depth of field has shrunk to the end of my arm. I cannot see beyond my fingers. My world is small and immediate. Unimportant yet urgent. I carry the anxiety of someone who has actual responsibility to something greater than the economy. The rainwater is rising in the gutters and I feel no agency to move.
My parents have both died within the last few years. I miss my mother. She gave me comfort since before I could crawl. My father is buried alongside all the conversations we were both too afraid to have. I miss my father too. Not because he gave me comfort. Quite the opposite. I miss him for what was not said, like the opportunity to find out about his intentions and motivations. I am left with my assumptions. Over the years I have assumed his positive intent. It’s easier that way. I feel lost without them.
My sons, who I kissed a million times when their wrists were fat and their fingers chubby, have moved out of the house. Cleaning out the closet, I found a box filled with their childhood arts. I will never live to experience a joy as great as those times. Halcyon days indeed. They do not have a childhood home to return to so they come and sleep on the couch and feel awkward about raiding the fridge.
When I was young I climbed the highest peaks in the Rocky Mountains. From the summit I could see for miles, the mountain ranges beyond mountain ranges all beneath a half dome sky. I haven’t climbed a mountain in many years. My world is now so small and immediate.
What I know is this storm will pass; the storms always pass. The sun will come out, my clothes will dry. But will I remember? Remember to climb? To expand my horizons and see beyond my immediate situation to see what is coming? Or will I stay down here on street level, content with my distractions, and act caught off guard when another storm rolls in?
Daniel Landes spent decades as a restauranteur, author and publisher. As the owner of multiple restaurants in Denver, CO – and then a hostel in Mexico – he dedicated himself to creating environments where people could work out their humanity while eating and drinking. Now relocated to Santa Fe, DL says that “living in the Galisteo Basin impresses a unique and humbling perspective. Under the expansive, enchanted New Mexican sky I can feel so small and so big. I made a career of kicking up dust; living in the storm until the storm lived in me. When the dust settled two guideposts appeared: Spend more nights under the stars; provide a service.”
Nick Flook aka Flooko is “the O.G astronaut painter” and takes his fans on adventures through original acrylic paintings and animations. This Toronto-based artist specializes in surrealism, space-themed work and impressionistic city and landscapes. See more of his work on his site, follow him on Instagram.
Check out Daniel’s last Birdy install, Art City, and Nick’s Issue 140 Back Cover, Nuclear Paradise, and Inside featured piece of art, Aligned, in case you missed.