10 Omega Mart Products You Don’t Wanna Miss
By Dave Jasmon
Published Issue 088, April 2021
Not able to make it to Omega Mart to do your shopping? Don’t fret. You can enjoy extraordinary products from America’s most exceptional grocery store at home!
So, maybe you already bought tickets to Meow Wolf’s Omega Mart. Maybe you’ve not only prepared for your visit to our newest interactive experience, but you’ve also mapped out a plan to make the most of your time in Las Vegas at AREA15. Or, maybe you’re super excited to soak up groundbreaking, unpredictable, mind-bending art, BUT … you just won’t be able to make the trip as soon as you’d like. That’s okay! We’ve got you covered.
While you can purchase all of your essentials in person at Omega Mart, we’ll ALSO be making a significant selection of Omega Mart products available through our online shop! Unfortunately, it might be a little late (and impractical) to get your Romantic Dinner in a Can for Valentine’s Day, but you will finally be able to experience the hype around Vegan Goat Pus.
Need a little help with your shopping list? These 10 Omega Mart products will give you a little taste of what’s in-store!
1) Who Told You This Was Butter? (Do Not Eat!)
Omega Mart’s signature “home freshening spray” will make your whole world smell good enough to eat, but seriously, don’t eat it. Like any other butter spray, it’s meant to infuse your linens with the intoxicating aroma of butter, or to cut through unpleasant odors like a knife through butter, but for real … who told you this was butter?
2) Daikon Pals
If there’s one thing that everybody knows about kids, it’s that they love root vegetables! Now you can stop searching through lil’ Suzy’s toy chest for tonight’s stir fry ingredients and give her a cuddly Daikon Pal that’s bendable, squeezable, and totally rad-ish!
3) Vegan Goat Pus
Tired of not feeling good about where your goat pus came from? Omega Mart knows that America thirsts for a cruelty-free, alternative pus for the rest of us! Casein point: Vegas Goat Pus. It tastes strangely like lemonade … no kidding!
4) BOG Water
Enough with the sparkling waters already. What you want is a water that is not only still, it’s naturally stagnant and bottled right near the source. Discover earth’s finest natural treasure trove with BOG, the liveliest water you’ll ever drink!
5) Whale Song
The most stressful and anxious of times call for a little extra swipe of peace. As a deodorant that’s both an antiperspirant AND an antidepressant, Omega Mart’s Whale Song will bring more than a krill’s worth of peace to your heart … for about 12 hours, then reapply.
6) Omega Cola
It’s the soft drink that unofficially ended the cola wars. It’s the soda that floated Omega Mart to the top of the caffeinated, caramel-colored, high-fructose-corn-syrup-based carbonated beverage pyramid to lord over all other colas. It’s the top of the pops. It’s Omega Cola.
7) 5G Lip Balm
You don’t want to moisturize your chapped lips with just any old balm. You want the latest technologies, the highest download speeds, and the least amount of lip-moistening latency. Enter 5G Lip Balm, the salve that seals skin at a cellular level.
8) Millk Mug
Want to show your love and devotion to Omega Mart’s fresh dairy beverage? Now you can drink your daily dose of Vitamin Dram straight from a Millk Mug! Moooove over coffee cups. We’ve got the mug to match your grinning face the next time you say, “Calci-Yum!”
9) Pareidolia Pepper
It’s Pareidolia Pepper time! The freshest faces in produce bring sweetness, spice, and a bit of angst to the dinner table. Great for kids, because what kid doesn’t objectively love crunching into a fresh green pepper while pondering the fun, human quirk that causes us to mistakenly perceive order within the relentless chaos of nature?
10) Carlos Medina’s Famous Blue Chile & Chili
Red chile or green chile? Carlos Medina knows, the true answer is blue! Whether you’re enjoying bold blueberry sapphire chile or tangy raspberry blue chili, the result is pure blue hotness whenever Carlos is pulling the strings.
And there’s plenty more where that came from! These products are just a fraction of what you can buy at Meow Wolf’s Omega Mart, which is NOW OPEN at AREA15 in Las Vegas, Nevada. You can find these products “in-store” at the exhibit, or online at shop.meowwolf.com.
Dave Jasmon is a writer and artist. Check out his work on Instagram.
Kate Russell is a photographer and artist. Her only salaried job was when she worked for a circus, and then Meow Wolf happened. Growing up in a town of 2000, with only 2 paved roads, she prefers not to eat vegetables that start with the letter A, can be compensated with fresh raspberries, and loves a good handstand. She tried to re-name herself Ace at age 6, though it didn’t stick. At one time, she was among the top 20 best female mogul skiers in the country, was a professional furniture maker, ran a marathon, without training for it, in under 4 hours, has jumped out of planes and off bridges, successfully, and can offer a good shoe shine, when needed. Follow her on Instagram.
Brandon Soder is a Sante Fe (Ogha Po’oge) New Mexico-based portrait, editorial, and commercial photographer. Growing up in his family’s art-filled Tex-Mex restaurant immersed Brandon in the flavors of the surrounding borderlands from an early age. The fusion of colorful pop culture and religious iconography distinctive of Texas and New Mexico inspires his work. Holding a BFA from the College of Santa Fe, Brandon aspires to embody a southwestern style saturated with honesty, whimsy and grit. Follow him on Instagram.
Caitlin LeMoine is a graphic designer and illustrator that works on visual development for world-building, storytelling, and experiential design. She currently works for Meow Wolf, an immersive themed entertainment and arts company in Santa Fe, NM, where she develops everything from story props to environmental signage. Follow her on Instagram.
THIS FEATURE WAS PRODUCED IN PARTNERSHIP WITH MEOW WOLF.